The View From My Study 9 October 2026
The View From My Study 9 October 2026
In the south London house where I grew up, on a half-landing between staircases, sat a shelf displaying a line of mugs each decorated with a piece of life-improving wisdom. One that stands out declared: Patience is a Virtue.
How true that is. Patience has never been more important than it is today. We live in a world of instant communication, immediate answers and endless opportunities to compare ourselves with others. Social media presents a steady stream of achievement, success and accomplishment, often making progress appear both rapid and effortless.
Yet children do not develop that way.
There is an old Chinese fable about a farmer who became frustrated that his seedlings were not growing quickly enough. Determined to help, he gently pulled each one upwards. The following morning, they had all withered. In trying to accelerate growth, he had destroyed it.
I am sure many parents will recognise something of that temptation. It is hard not to notice when another child seems to have learned a skill sooner, discovered a talent earlier or found confidence more quickly. Parenthood, in those moments, can feel a little like standing in a queue and wondering whether the line next to yours is moving faster.
The reality is that growth is often taking place long before it becomes visible. Think of bamboo which spends years developing an extensive root system beneath the ground before shooting upwards at remarkable speed – childhood is like that. Confidence, resilience, judgement and self-regulation are quietly forming below the surface, even when there is little evidence of progress above it.
Perhaps this is one reason why patience and self-regulation are such close companions. Children learn an enormous amount from the adults around them, including how to respond when things do not happen immediately. The ability to persevere, cope with setbacks and tolerate uncertainty is developed gradually, often through countless small moments rather than dramatic breakthroughs.
The mug on my parents’ shelf had it right – patience is indeed a virtue. But perhaps I am forgetting there was something written on the other side of the mug too and I suspect it said: Have faith and trust in the slow work of growth. Sometimes the most important developments are the ones happening underground.
