The View From My Study 24 April 2026
This Saturday I’m delivering a speech at a friend’s milestone birthday celebration and I’ve been reflecting on our 45 year association. Through school, university and working life, with trips and sporting experiences along the way too, not to mention his role as Best Man at my wedding, we’ve remained mates. A friend through thick and thin some might say.
This prompted me to think about other phrases associated with friendship and how different cultures portray its essence.
A German might talk about ‘ein fruend furs leben’ (a friend for life) while a Spaniard refers to friends of the soul (‘amigos del alma’). Going further back, Cicero said that a sure friend is known in uncertain times while Persians talked about companions of the cave – those who stay when others don’t. Sanskrit writing references friends as sharing the same heart, an idea replicated in many cultural texts.
Metaphor and fable have been used by all cultures to impart wisdom and advice and all countries have tales about friendship. In Japan, for instance, the tale of Hachikō tells of a dog who waited every day at a train station for his master—long after the man had died. The dog did not know whether his master would return; he only knew that waiting was what love looked like. Meanwhile, Chinese folklore celebrates The Bamboo in a Storm. Rigid trees snap in storms, but bamboo bends and survives, representing the idea that friends are like bamboo, not because they resist change but because they remain rooted while adapting.
In so many cases, what comes across is not just friendship but loyalty too. Loyalty as waiting without certainty. Loyalty as gradual sacrifice. Loyalty as flexibility or loyalty as recognition across forms. Or loyalty as constancy.
Loyalty is a natural human instinct that children understand and it matters if we want relationships to be durable, safe and meaningful. That’s why we must teach it. In many ways, despite all the words above, loyalty is how love and friendship proves itself when words run out. Thankfully, I have more than enough words for my speech on Saturday and loyalty and friendship will definitely be two of them.
